Article published in Slackjaw. Click on the article image to view the original piece in full:
Fight negative auras with love not hate. Put away your pistols, start healing with crystals. Call your Congressman today and tell him/her YOU want a crystal clear healthcare system.
Articles published in Bullshit.ist. Click on an article image below to read the full article. Samples below:
Pussy Galore, named after the Bond girl, knows that the only way to get into the White House as a female kitty is too be sexy and hott. Now that Joe Biden is out, a new cat’s in town, and she’s ready to be America’s sex icon.
What is the biggest threat to our oceans? Humans. Humans have been destroying our oceans for centuries and no one has been doing anything about it. Therefore, I took it upon myself to get out there and fight the good fight. There have been many who have said hurtful things, but my plan-of-action is very methodical. Please review this selection of my kills and their reasoning so you can better understand my viral marketing activism approach…
When asked specifically about her choice of the cobalt net pattern, she said, “This pattern does not reflect the web of connections between this administration and Russia. Instead, it is a tribute to Catherine the Great. She is an example of what one nation can do if they give all their power to one single leader and put all their faith in them. In this time of great turmoil, we must trust my husband and give him more, and more, power.”
“As we get older, we realize having a male figure to guide us and make decisions for us is really a benefit. I can sit back, relax, and focus on, once again, becoming a sex symbol for the Republican Party.”
Having heard that Paul Ryan’s cure-all Repeal and Replace Bill for Obamacare was reportedly hidden on Capitol Hill, his fellow Congressman joined in on a game of hide and seek, knowing that whoever was the last to find the mythical bill would not benefit from its super powers (more specifically, healthcare a.k.a. the ability to pay for medical treatment so that you can live a happy and healthy life and continue to be a supportive, tax-paying citizen of the United States of America).
Kristen Van Nest